Dark Clouds Enter

It's been a tough week. The last of Patrick's family left town on Monday. P Patrick had an interview at a very prestigious Catholic girls high school in Dallas (he'll find out if he got the job on Monday). Patrick's mother passed away early Wednesday morning. Thursday night, Patrick's father's mother (in a nursing home in Dallas) was not supposed to last the night. A wake/viewing was held for Patrick's Mom for Friday night with the funeral on Saturday morning. Patrick's grandmother (his father's mother) passed away about an hour before Patrick's Mom's funeral. So Patrick's father lost his wife and mother within 4 days. No man should suffer such losses.
Patrick asked me to accompany him and his family in the limousine to the church and sit with him and his family at the funeral. I obliged, but it was probably the most terrifying act I've ever had to perform. First of all, I am not Patrick's wife or fiance. God only knows if I ever will be, but I was included in the family for the day (and most of the week as well). I had to stand by the casket as they laid the cloth over it. I had to walk down the aisle of the church behind the family. I had to change seats once I got up there so I could be sitting next to Patrick. Patrick was asked to read a eulogy, which he wrote and read eloquently. No one could believe he could read such kind and touching words so strongly and maturely. It was a beautiful and touching ceremony. Even though I did not sit with them, my parents, my sister and her husband, and my cousin and her husband (who had never met Patrick before) came to give their love and support to me and the family.
Almost all of Patrick's friends from New Orleans drove and flew up to Dallas on Thursday to support him. It was an amazing gesture of love and support to see them all here for Patrick.
I can't say that it has been easy for me to be strong or to be there for Patrick and his family, but he has needed me this week more than anyone has ever needed me in my whole life. His family has accepted me with open arms. I'm glad God called me to be there for his family. Patrick has been the pillar of strength for his family. His dad and his brothers are lost in sorrow, his sister is hiding her sorrow with humor, and Patrick, the youngest by 9 years, is the strong leader of the pack. He knows that reality will set in soon, but it hasn't yet. He told me that right now it just feels like his mom is on a vacation and will be back soon. I can't even imagine losing my mother. The thought makes me sob.
unfortunately, all of Patrick's family will be leaving in the next 3 days and all of his friends, including myself will leave tomorrow. I have to go to Albuquerque Sunday and Arizona for the rest of the week and for the next 4 weeks. I have been very grateful for all the love and support I have received from my friends and family and I know that God will never give us anything we can not handle, but I really thought, several times this week, that God was wrong on this point. I think with the funeral in the past, the toughest part is over, but that does not mean there will not be more struggles and sorrows in the future. Just knowing that you all, my friends, are out there with kind thoughts and prayers will help me get through this time.
On a brighter note, my sister and my brother-in-law have started a long process this week that could take up to 2 years. They have decided to become parents through adoption. I couldn't be happier for them. And ME! I'm going to be an AUNT! Aunt Gretchen! I'm so excited. Heather and Alan will be incredible parents to this adopted child. They will give them a warm and loving home with a doting aunt and affectionate grandparents. I'm very excited.
I've got to get back to packing for my trip and I must get some sleep tonight.
Much love to all.....